The Dispatch #5 – On Editing for Submission & Dracula
April 2025's monthly update from Jordan Acosta, a British speculative fiction writer.
About Me
I'm a British 40-something speculative fiction writer, professional designer and creative director based near London. Over the last five years, I’ve worked on drafting my debut novel, Dark Century. The Dispatch is my monthly newsletter, published on the first Thursday of the month.
Format
Topics are broken down into:
CABLE – News & events;
MINUTES – On Writing & Publishing;
VETTING – The Month's Reviews;
POSTINGS – Elsewhere, On/Off-line;
INTERCEPT – Quote of the Month
CABLE –
News & Events
It’s been another busy month finishing edits on Dark Century; more on that below. In other news, I’ve been twice to my local theatre in Hertford in as many days to watch a stage production of Dracula by the folks at Blackeyed Theatre, followed by an evening with historical fiction behemoth, Kate Mosse. More on these later in my monthly reviews.
I don’t have too much to add here, other than that Dark Century is now out on submission to editors!
I’ll write more about the submission process at some point, but before that, I’m going to do a slightly deeper dive into edits I alluded in the last edition...
MINUTES –
On Writing & Publishing
Brass tacks: this round of edits took far longer than anticipated. There’s a number of reasons for this, namely that they simply turned out to be more complicated than I gave them credit for. The thing about writing a novel is that an author is expected to carry an entire story – setting, characters, plot and dialogue – in their heads, and any changes (especially with complex stories like Dark Century) affect not just the page you’re writing, but other pages and chapters, too, which can make continuity a nightmare.
In order to demonstrate what I mean, here’s a brief rundown of just some of the changes I made in this latest edit of the manuscript. Of course, these changes will make little sense unless you’ve read an earlier draft of the book. I’ve included brief (and spoiler-free) snippets to try and contextualise my edits, below:
New Words
1700 words have been added, to be more specific. This may not seem like a lot if viewed as a new chapter or scene, but the additions are spread out throughout the entire novel: a sentence here, a paragraph there, and so on. I’m in the fortunate position of having a very lean word count in relation to the complexity of the story, so there’s room for me to add more when required. Like an equaliser in a sound mix, I’m aiming to tweak existing information to add more impact, whilst offering clarifications where required.
Splitting Chapters
From Chapter 3
The grey, four-passenger sedan roared through Nordbredden’s countryside at the mercy of Inspector Eskell’s aggressive driving; the car shuddering as she poorly navigated potholes and other debris. Twice, Eskell had almost collided with errant horse carts, and I’d resorted to clinging to the leather handrail until my knuckles were drained of colour.
I’ve bisected Chapter 4 – a police station interview – and moved the dialogue and exposition into the previous chapter by inserting a brand new scene (above), and transposing the original dialogue to a different character. I make great efforts to make sure the right information is imparted to a reader at the right point in the story. Now, Chapter 4 has a single focus, which in my opinion, now works much better for the overall pacing of the opening act.
Foreshadowing
From Chapter 5
Like so much of his early life, Kolding refused to divulge any details. He never once mentioned Narva after my secondment to him back in New Eden, much to the disappointment of my friends and family; nor was the commandant drawn to the topic of his personal relationship to [REDACTED]. News of Kolding’s heroics, therefore, were gleaned from the whitesheets or whispered rumours at the barracks.
In Chapter 5, I’ve now indirectly introduced the story’s villain much earlier into Act 1. In the previous draft, he didn’t appear in passing until Chapter 10, or in person until Chapter 19. From a setting perspective, this particular situation arises due to physical geography: it’s simply not possible to have the main character and the villain in the same room at this point in the story.
From a narrative perspective, however, it’s essential we get a sense of who the villain is, and their relationship with the protagonist so they don’t just magically appear out of nowhere later in the book. The solution to this particular suggestion was to write in how other people view these two important characters.
Packing More Punch
From Chapter 9
After an indeterminate pause, I heard my master orate the Benediction for the Honoured Dead from memory. What began as little more than an exhausted whisper quickly kindled into an impassioned recitation. In the lamp’s light, I thought I saw spittle ooze down his scarred and haggard chin.
I’ve extensively reworked Chapter 9, where my protagonists face their first major hurdle. My agent’s comments were to ‘lean into the horror’, and add emotional resonance.
Now, this chapter packs a lot more punch than it did in the previous draft; where one big mystery is solved, but glossed over very quickly to move the story on. It simply didn’t work from a pacing perspective, because I didn’t give the characters’ grim discovery time to breathe and allow the reader to empathise with them. This sense of pace and resonance is the difference between an emotional connection, where the reader bonds with the characters, as opposed to a dispassionate series of unfortunate events happening to them.
Unclogging Expository Traffic Jams
From Chapter 24
Else made to protest, but something in [REDACTED] tone brooked no argument. Without a word, she scooped up the plates and cutlery, and vanished through the sliding door. The remaining three men sat listening to the lake in frosty silence. No one touched their drinks.
‘What I found [REDACTED] can only be described as extraordinary,’ said Kolding, breaking the impasse.
There are two chapters in Act 2 which required yet another pass. They are dialogue heavy, a bit like the Council of Elrond in Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring.
There’s a widely-accepted mantra that I often see bulldozed onto writers: ‘show, don’t tell’. I suspect this is a product of the public’s increasing consumption of popular streaming services. Most writing advice is highly contextual, and this one can probably be ignored if it doesn’t serve the needs of the story.
The telling is important, and it’s one of the great strengths of the novel as a medium for transmitting stories. What it lacks in prescriptive visual reference, it makes up for with introspection. Older published novels like le Carré’s back catalogue make my own efforts infantile by comparison, such is their word count and complexity.
This might be my seventh or eighth pass at re-writing or revising this stretch of the book, and my solution to solving this expository traffic jam is to snip and reorder information not just across two chapters, but three (the chapter preceding it): three chapters, three conversations, two locations in two points of time, to unravel a single plot thread. If it sounds like a nightmare, I assure you: it was to write it, but the pay-off is significant for the reader.
A Bigger Finish
From Chapter 36
What happened next was little more than a blur. A huge [REDACTED] erupted from the water. It flopped onto the concrete, screeching in pain. The commotion was all my master needed to lunge at the guard with all his strength to envelope the knife, plunging it with his [REDACTED].
... and finally capping off the edits with a heavily reworked the last chapter to raise the stakes in the finale. The accidental addition of a single word completely changed one of the Dark Century’s climactic moments, and I’m still simultaneously appalled and amused at the outcome. It remains to be seen if the change survives further edits.
Over the Line
Now, if this (very brief) overview of edits sounds laborious, then I have spared you from the thousands of smaller edits I’ve made throughout the manuscript; but it’s worth articulating the reality of edits in order to establish how difficult it actually is to write and publish a novel, because the process never ends with the first draft.
This draft, which took over a month working every evening and weekends, was simply to get me over the line for submission to publishers, so spare a thought for authors out there in the middle of their edits for upcoming books. A great deal of work goes into reworking or tweaking a story right up to the print run, and almost all of this collaborative process is unseen by readers.
Will there be a next draft of Dark Century? Of course. I have extensive notes and corrections to make, but in the meantime whilst I wait and see if anyone is interested in publishing it, I’ll be plotting the follow up...
VETTING –
The Month's Reviews
Book Review:
Strange Pictures by Uketsu
Pushkin Vertigo, 2025
Why hadn't she thought of it before? Perhaps she had been too caught up in the bizarre idea of Yuta scribbling out his own home.
Scribbling out a mistake... That was a real possibility.
Her eyes fell on her crayon box. What colour did children use when they tried to erase a drawing mistake? She didn't even have to think about it.
I picked up this weird mystery novel in Foyles and was immediately intrigued by the addition of drawings sprinkled throughout the text. It transpires the visual material is integral to solving the murder mystery penned by Japanese author Uketsu (雨穴), who themselves remained anonymous in the guise of an all encompassing black leotard and papier-mâché mask.
Writing about Strange Pictures is a difficult task, inasmuch as any mention of the characters will inevitably give away spoilers of the plot, but the book has some clever conceits that can only be fully appreciated with the aid of the visual material.
A fun, interesting read for anyone who likes a sprinkle of something extra with their usual diet of crime and horror.
Translated into English by Jim Rion.
Book Review:
The Deadly Percheron by John Franklin Bardin
Penguin Modern Classics – Crime & Espionage, 2024
Memories exist whole in the mind; to put them down in words demands sequence, a sense of time and space, of then and now. But when one remembers an event that belongs to the far past and relates it to another happening that belongs to yesterday, these memories exist together simultaneously - they are both, for a moment, now, not then.
One of the greatest highs as a reader is finding the exact book at the right time completely by chance, which is why I tend to ignore recommendations by algorithm. On this occasion, I had just finished pitching a follow up to Dark Century; a story involving impostors, unreliable narrators and a deep-rooted conspiracy, when I picked up this Penguin re-issue at random. I couldn’t believe I had picked up a book which promised a vaguely similar plot and themes to what I was proposing, but this story was written in 1946.
Naturally, I inhaled it in a day, and The Deadly Percheron was everything I hoped for.
Written in a spurt of creative output in the mid 40s which birthed three novels by crime writer John Franklin Bardin, this noir mystery is set in New York, opening with psychiatrist George Matthews in consultation with a new patient who is convinced he is going mad.
From there, events lurch into the increasingly weird and fantastical as Matthews is drawn into a devious conspiracy, trying to piece together missing periods of his life: beginning with why he isn’t Dr George Matthews – respected Manhattan psychiatrist – but John Brown, a disfigured vagrant forced to seek employment in a rundown cafe on Coney Island. I remember reading Hugo Wilcken’s The Reflection a few years ago which had a remarkably similar plot, and was unsurprised to note that Wilcken owes an enormous debt to Franklin, for good reason.
Whilst there are some dated attitudes in the story, Penguin have done a sterling job of resurrecting this lost American classic. If weird, disconcerting reads are your thing, then The Deadly Percheron comes highly recommended.
Event Review:
Kate Mosse: Unlocking the Secrets of the Labyrinth
Norwell Lapley Productions, BEAM Theatre, Hertford
To celebrate the 20th anniversary of her multi-million international bestselling novel Labyrinth, Kate Mosse will launch a one-woman theatre tour… Kate will share the secrets behind the writing, offer unique and personal insights into the real true history of the Cathars and lay bare the arcane mysteries that inspired this most timeless and beloved of stories.
A one-woman stage show is first for me in the realm of book events. I’m used to author panels at conventions, or interviews in a bookshop, so to see Kate Mosse go the extra mile with an actual show to talk about her phenomenal historical fiction book Labyrinth was going to be a draw.
Confession: I’ve actually only read the opening three chapters of the book as of writing. My plan to read Labyrinth was scuppered due to edits and beta-reading, but thankfully there were few, if any spoilers.
In this dazzling extravaganza, the audience learns of the historical context of Carcassonne and the wider Occitania region of what is now southern France; and the crusades which shaped its past; and crucially, the backdrop for Labyrinth, interspersed with personal anecdotes and inspiration behind the writing and ordering the sweeping narrative.
There are those who know their subject matter, and those who live and breathe it; and Mosse falls in the latter.
If you’re a fan of the books, the stage show is a no-brainer; especially as Mosse offers to sign your book after the show and ends. What’s not to like?
Kate Mosse: Unlocking the Secrets of the Labyrinth runs throughout the UK until April, 2025.
Play Review:
Dracula, adapted by Nick Lane
Blackeyed Theatre, BEAM Theatre, Hertford
There are such beings as vampires.
They are known everywhere where men have been.
They possess the strength of twenty living men.
They have control over the dead.
They are cunning and pitiless.
They cast no shadow or reflection.
Hot on the heels of Eggers’ remake of Nosferatu (reviewed here), the crew at Blackeyed Theatre have returned to Bram Stoker’s source material with an economical but effective and atmospheric dramatisation of Dracula by Nick Lane.
Six actors and one stage set carry the essence of the novel’s plot, divided into six acts: Harker’s journey to Transylvania; the Demeter’s last voyage; Lucy Westenra’s deteriorating health; Van Helsing’s investigation; Renfield’s incarceration; and finally, the return to Dracula’s castle.
Strong performances throughout by the ensemble cast who assume multiple roles (with a particularly fantastic rendition of Renfield by Marie Osman), along with several changes to modernise the original story; notably the count’s calculated rebuke of the British Empire’s atrocities to Harker as comprehension of his imprisonment dawns, and a refreshing take on Dracula’s legacy in the finale.
The current run of Dracula plays throughout the UK until May, 2025.
You can find the full archive of all my short reviews, here.
POSTINGS –
Elsewhere, On/Off-line
Much of this played out in court seven at the Old Bailey during a three-month trial of three of those involved, described dismissively by Roussev as “the minions”. The defendants were each charged with a single count of espionage, which they denied – saying they had been manipulated. But the most revealing details emerged in the extraordinary dialogue – across 78,747 Telegram messages – between the ringleader, Roussev, and his boss, Marsalek, that police had been fortunate to find. The key breakthrough, officers acknowledged, was finding the messages on Roussev’s phone: the IT specialist had forgotten to press delete.
– Dan Sabbagh, The Guardian, ‘The dumbest thing I’ve ever done’: spy trial’s tales of scheming, bluster and a love triangle
This is a true thing of wonder, a story concept so awe-inspiring that angelic choirs sing its praises in your head… It is new, shiny and still perfect. Abandon the thing you’re grappling it, the new idea whispers, and write me instead!
This situation even has a name: Shiny New Thing Syndrome. But all too often, this new thing is a mirage, just fool’s gold masquerading as the solution to your writing problems. You could give up on the story you’ve been labouring to fix. You could jump ship to the shiny new idea, the one you haven’t ruined yet with any actual writing.
– D.V Bishop, Shiny New Thing Syndrome
INTERCEPT –
Quote of the Month
“When was redeemed that great shame of my nation, the shame of Cassova, when the flags of the Wallach and the Magyar went down beneath the Crescent? Who was it but one of my own race who as Voivode crossed the Danube and beat the Turk on his own ground? This was a Dracula indeed!”
– Bram Stoker, Dracula (Archibald Constable and Company, 1897)
Many thanks for reading. The Dispatch is a monthly roundup by British speculative fiction writer, Jordan Acosta. News, short reviews and more, published every first Thursday. You can subscribe at jordanacosta.co, and read previous editions, here.
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